Eleven things I want. Right now.

Recent conversations have inspired me to contemplate who I really am right now in this instance of my life - to attempt to examine and define myself once again as we all should do from time to time. With a six week old baby girl now in my arms, it goes without saying that I'm not the same man I was 2 months ago, five years ago, or certainly a decade past.
It all really makes me wonder where I'll be a decade from here, and all things considered, I'd rather not let that future depend entirely on chance and unforeseen circumstance. If ever there was a time for planning and action toward specific goals, it's certainly this very moment.

For all of 2008 I've essentially been on autopilot. Feed the baby, burp the baby, change the baby, sell some diamonds, do whatever it takes to ease the woes of my wife, and eat where possible. Not exactly a Jedi lifestyle, but not really not Jedi either.

That said, my first and foremost goal is to be more Jedi-like. This is something that carries over from the spring of 2002 when I became a "born again Jedi" just before the release of Episode II. That mind-set tapered off slowly during the following five years and it's high time I began focusing some energies on my Jedi training once again. Now, don't everybody jump to the conclusion that this is as hokey and geeky as it sounds. My idea of Jedi training is essentially a meditation on getting what you give, learning from life, and allowing patience and logic to prevail over reckless emotion. No lifting rocks with my mind involved, however it'll be wicked-cool when I finally do get that to work.

Secondively, I want to start focusing on art again. Painting, sculpting, sketching, writing... anything. Blogging doesn't count. I have so much pent up creativity in me that I've become a slob. If you could crawl inside my head, that statement would actually make sense.

Thirdively, I want to be less of a slob. I used to be the one who went to my mothers house and organized the slightly skewed magazines on her coffee table. Now I don't even use a coaster. I want to become the person who doesn't relax until my surroundings are in an organized state once again. I used to be a librarian, dammit - time I started acting accordingly.

Fourthatively, I want to make pastries. I don't need to make a pie or a dozen tarts a day like I used to, but once a week would be nice. Everybody likes pie, myself doubly so.

Fifthly, I want to eat (slightly) healthier than I do currently. Not anywhere near as healthy as my wife but perhaps I'll stop eating chocolate for breakfast.

Number Six. I want to become as adept at all my instruments as I ever was and improve upon that standard. Banjo, bagpipe, and guitar. Should a tuba come my way I'll get back to where I was with that too.

Seventhly, I want money. Not the make it faster than you can spend it money but the sort of income and financial skills to have security, shelter, food, and dentists for my family.

Octively, I want to know what I want. I know that's a little deep but it's the truth. I'm so detached from who I once was that I really would like to wake up one day and just know my place in the universe without question.

Ninethly, I want a replica costume of Princess Leia's garb in Jabba's palace. Never mind why.

Tenthly, I want my family to be healthy and happy - always. This should really be the number two goal of the list, as it's certainly that important to me. This includes myself also, meaning I'm going to finally suck it up and go get a physical for the first time in ten years and also see a dentist. (shudder).

And finally for goal number eleven, I shall create a robot to change diapers because that's a job I can do without and that needs to be done even as I type this. I swear she's been pooping for the past twenty minutes - I'm really not looking forward to this. Babies are smelly. Anyway, I shall call the robot Gort, simply because I'm still a big geek like that.

And that's the things I want. Hear that universe? Make it happen!