Then pretend I wrote a long a witty post all about stuff and things. To be honest, I have neither the time or wit to even attempt doing this as a reality.
As I type this, my wife is in the hospital and apparently they're not going to let her leave without a baby.
I'm off.
Monday, December 31, 2007
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Hinterland Who's Who
This weeks subject: Diamondium Seller Alloterous - Post Christmas Rush
It's a time of winding down for our tired little sales associate. The holiday rush has left him physically drained, and feeling a little woozy. His habitat, once a model of order and aesthetics, now lies in chaos and smells... sort of odd.
By the number of socks discarded under his computer desk, one can easily tell how many days it's been since the last time laundry was attempted. We can also make a rough estimate to the last time dish-washing occurred by a quick glance at the number of improvised drinking containers on the kitchen counter. Martini and wine glasses for orange juice, a measuring cup for diet cola, a flower vase for iced tea... based on the creativity displayed here, I'd say probably about two weeks since dishes have been done. This, of course, should explain much of the odd smell.
By late boxing day, much of the mess is cleaned up, or at the very least rinsed and straightened. He takes a quick moment then, to regroup and ready himself for the onslaught of ring sizing and exchanges in the weeks to come. Time enough to catch up on the odds and ends of housework in the new year.
Until Valentine's day.
It's a time of winding down for our tired little sales associate. The holiday rush has left him physically drained, and feeling a little woozy. His habitat, once a model of order and aesthetics, now lies in chaos and smells... sort of odd.
By the number of socks discarded under his computer desk, one can easily tell how many days it's been since the last time laundry was attempted. We can also make a rough estimate to the last time dish-washing occurred by a quick glance at the number of improvised drinking containers on the kitchen counter. Martini and wine glasses for orange juice, a measuring cup for diet cola, a flower vase for iced tea... based on the creativity displayed here, I'd say probably about two weeks since dishes have been done. This, of course, should explain much of the odd smell.
By late boxing day, much of the mess is cleaned up, or at the very least rinsed and straightened. He takes a quick moment then, to regroup and ready himself for the onslaught of ring sizing and exchanges in the weeks to come. Time enough to catch up on the odds and ends of housework in the new year.
Until Valentine's day.
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Relax. Think. What would Obi Won Kenobi do?
It's Christmas Eve eve now. Only 7 more shopping-hours left, and I'm on full force tomorrow.
Only not really.
If you missed the memo, I'm about to be a dad to a little baby girl. Soon! I love her already, and once I see her for real... once I cut that umbilical cord... I'm done for. I just know it.
I still haven't really decided if maybe I want to "catch the baby". Does one need training for that? I'm more calm in extreme situations than I am in normal circumstance, if that makes any sense. It's the way I roll. Does that somehow qualify me?
Does it mess up the birth plan if I decide now, only weeks (days?) away, that I do want to catch my baby? I kind of just decided on this idea only moments after starting this post, to be honest. Who knows, maybe I'll change my mind by morning, as this is also the way I roll.
All I know is I'm very torn about being a good daddy and selling a carat before tomorrow is done. Well, not really torn... It would be just swell if the little one can wait till the new year, but if that's not the case and we get an extra special Christmas gift this year, my loyalties, or rather priorities, lie with my daughter, through and through.
As for the nonsense-conflict of yesterday? It never mattered in the first place, and so has no impact on the now.
Perhaps I am Jedi, after all. If maybe only a little bit.
Only not really.
If you missed the memo, I'm about to be a dad to a little baby girl. Soon! I love her already, and once I see her for real... once I cut that umbilical cord... I'm done for. I just know it.
I still haven't really decided if maybe I want to "catch the baby". Does one need training for that? I'm more calm in extreme situations than I am in normal circumstance, if that makes any sense. It's the way I roll. Does that somehow qualify me?
Does it mess up the birth plan if I decide now, only weeks (days?) away, that I do want to catch my baby? I kind of just decided on this idea only moments after starting this post, to be honest. Who knows, maybe I'll change my mind by morning, as this is also the way I roll.
All I know is I'm very torn about being a good daddy and selling a carat before tomorrow is done. Well, not really torn... It would be just swell if the little one can wait till the new year, but if that's not the case and we get an extra special Christmas gift this year, my loyalties, or rather priorities, lie with my daughter, through and through.
As for the nonsense-conflict of yesterday? It never mattered in the first place, and so has no impact on the now.
Perhaps I am Jedi, after all. If maybe only a little bit.
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Ho Ho Holy Hell
Seven hours from right now, I'll be dragging my tired self to a Christmas breakfast and 'Kris Kringle' gift exchange for my work. I wish I could sleep.
Don't get me wrong, I love my work... probably more than I ever have, but there's always the underlying politics of retail and the hidden soap opera dramatics that go on in any given consumer oriented environment, especially come the holiday season.
I would like to think I'm Jedi-like enough to observe all these goings-on without it impacting my life, but who am I kidding? Really. I have such a desire to be liked by everybody all the time, regardless of who they are or what they've done to me in the past. I'm conscious enough of this personal trait to know it's probably not a good thing, and also conscious enough that it makes me mental that I can't (don't?) do anything about it, and then when I do, I feel guilty about it all.
For example, today I got caught up it this bit of nonsense where a fancy-pants perpetual calendar watch was returned under my name in error, then resold under another employee's name only to be refunded again under my name once again. Two negatives for me, where I deserved only one, and a positive for another, who deserved nothing at all.
I was clearly in the right to bring up the fact that a mistake was made with the return-purchase-return that occurred, which I did, but all I could seem to concentrate on was the fact that I was creating a conflict over what amounted to $10 in commission. It's still bothering me now, 12 hours later. I just don't like to rock the boat.
Maybe it's because she who did the return-purchase-return has been holding some sort of mysterious grudge against me since I gained my diamontology certification (8 months earlier than she was able to). Maybe I'm even imagining all that. Perhaps it's simply that I'm assuming this person doesn't like me, and now it's manifesting into a reality....
Yes, my brain really works this way.
Then again, it could be that this person has it in for me because I make them feel threatened. Maybe they don't like me because I'm a geek. Who knows? It could be completely irrational, yet damn good, absolute reason for them to not like me in their own little mind. I'll probably never know, and certainly shouldn't care as much as I do. If I'm in the right, I shouldn't be afraid to stick up for myself.
I see it all from other perspectives like this when I'm at peace and out of the moment, like now. At 3:00 this afternoon, it was all I could do to not start smoking again. It drives me nuts that I don't have the control to have this patience and reasoning in the moment. I need to work on that. I want that ability.
It's like every once in a while, I should be asking myself, "How would Obi Wan handle this?"
Perhaps more than once in a while.
I think I need to go watch Star Wars. It's been a very, very long time....
Don't get me wrong, I love my work... probably more than I ever have, but there's always the underlying politics of retail and the hidden soap opera dramatics that go on in any given consumer oriented environment, especially come the holiday season.
I would like to think I'm Jedi-like enough to observe all these goings-on without it impacting my life, but who am I kidding? Really. I have such a desire to be liked by everybody all the time, regardless of who they are or what they've done to me in the past. I'm conscious enough of this personal trait to know it's probably not a good thing, and also conscious enough that it makes me mental that I can't (don't?) do anything about it, and then when I do, I feel guilty about it all.
For example, today I got caught up it this bit of nonsense where a fancy-pants perpetual calendar watch was returned under my name in error, then resold under another employee's name only to be refunded again under my name once again. Two negatives for me, where I deserved only one, and a positive for another, who deserved nothing at all.
I was clearly in the right to bring up the fact that a mistake was made with the return-purchase-return that occurred, which I did, but all I could seem to concentrate on was the fact that I was creating a conflict over what amounted to $10 in commission. It's still bothering me now, 12 hours later. I just don't like to rock the boat.
Maybe it's because she who did the return-purchase-return has been holding some sort of mysterious grudge against me since I gained my diamontology certification (8 months earlier than she was able to). Maybe I'm even imagining all that. Perhaps it's simply that I'm assuming this person doesn't like me, and now it's manifesting into a reality....
Yes, my brain really works this way.
Then again, it could be that this person has it in for me because I make them feel threatened. Maybe they don't like me because I'm a geek. Who knows? It could be completely irrational, yet damn good, absolute reason for them to not like me in their own little mind. I'll probably never know, and certainly shouldn't care as much as I do. If I'm in the right, I shouldn't be afraid to stick up for myself.
I see it all from other perspectives like this when I'm at peace and out of the moment, like now. At 3:00 this afternoon, it was all I could do to not start smoking again. It drives me nuts that I don't have the control to have this patience and reasoning in the moment. I need to work on that. I want that ability.
It's like every once in a while, I should be asking myself, "How would Obi Wan handle this?"
Perhaps more than once in a while.
I think I need to go watch Star Wars. It's been a very, very long time....
Sunday, December 16, 2007
I love the smell of commerce in the morning.
I notice I haven't posted in a while, and seeing as we're coming into the busiest week of the year for the type of business I'm in, I figured I should write something while now, while I have the chance.
For the past two years now, I've gloated about not working in retail anymore - how wonderfully stress-free it all is - how amazing the holiday hours are in the municipal ad private sectors of the community - blah blah blah. But alas, I strive on stress, and this past three weeks as a diamontologist at Christmas-time has proven to be an increasingly wonderful experience.
I love the adrenaline rush of the sale, and especially in selling the product I do, which surprises even myself on a near-daily basis.
I'm such a geek; have been since I was about 6. It used to be that I primarily sold computers, televisions, stereos, batteries, and connectors...oh the connectors I've sold! I liked the work fine...at times, I'd say I even loved it.
However...
I sold my first carat Canadian Diamond the day before last, and as a whole, it was the best sale I ever made. It's not that I made a high commission on the sale, or even that it made my numbers look good for the week. In reality, I've sold computers at twice the cost of said diamond. The difference lies in that the computers I sold way back when are probably worth about $35.00 now, but the diamond I sold the other day will still be worth $4000.00 in ten years. Mayhaps more.
It's like I've always had a passion for retail and sales, but that fire has always stopped at the product I was pushing. I now have found something I can really believe in. Something that appreciates instead of depreciating... and hey! It's Canadian! Not made in Japan, but mined, cut, and polished in Canada. Who can argue with that?
Anyway that's all I have to blog about at the moment. All the positive stuff. There are negatives to my work, but it's best not to concentrate on those at the moment, I think. I'm sure there will be a time for several pages of rant during and/or after boxing week.
For the past two years now, I've gloated about not working in retail anymore - how wonderfully stress-free it all is - how amazing the holiday hours are in the municipal ad private sectors of the community - blah blah blah. But alas, I strive on stress, and this past three weeks as a diamontologist at Christmas-time has proven to be an increasingly wonderful experience.
I love the adrenaline rush of the sale, and especially in selling the product I do, which surprises even myself on a near-daily basis.
I'm such a geek; have been since I was about 6. It used to be that I primarily sold computers, televisions, stereos, batteries, and connectors...oh the connectors I've sold! I liked the work fine...at times, I'd say I even loved it.
However...
I sold my first carat Canadian Diamond the day before last, and as a whole, it was the best sale I ever made. It's not that I made a high commission on the sale, or even that it made my numbers look good for the week. In reality, I've sold computers at twice the cost of said diamond. The difference lies in that the computers I sold way back when are probably worth about $35.00 now, but the diamond I sold the other day will still be worth $4000.00 in ten years. Mayhaps more.
It's like I've always had a passion for retail and sales, but that fire has always stopped at the product I was pushing. I now have found something I can really believe in. Something that appreciates instead of depreciating... and hey! It's Canadian! Not made in Japan, but mined, cut, and polished in Canada. Who can argue with that?
Anyway that's all I have to blog about at the moment. All the positive stuff. There are negatives to my work, but it's best not to concentrate on those at the moment, I think. I'm sure there will be a time for several pages of rant during and/or after boxing week.
Monday, December 10, 2007
Of ball pythons and light-sabers.
I noticed Armand out on his rocks this evening, and decided to take a little reptile friendly photography. This is, of course, Armand from my wife's "The Ark" post from not so long ago.
It almost looks like he's been over-photoshopped, but in fact I've done nothing but crop and darken the image a little. In effort to not stress our cold blooded friend out, I opted to not use a flash, and instead did a timed exposure while 'painting' the inside of the tank with a medium strength LED beam - hence the blueish tinge.
That's it for the ball python portion of the post. As for the light saber part, I take no responsibility for the following vid - just something I found a while back and it still makes me laugh uncontrollably so I figured I'd share. Tis the season and all....
An elegant weapon, for a more civilized age. :-)
It almost looks like he's been over-photoshopped, but in fact I've done nothing but crop and darken the image a little. In effort to not stress our cold blooded friend out, I opted to not use a flash, and instead did a timed exposure while 'painting' the inside of the tank with a medium strength LED beam - hence the blueish tinge.
That's it for the ball python portion of the post. As for the light saber part, I take no responsibility for the following vid - just something I found a while back and it still makes me laugh uncontrollably so I figured I'd share. Tis the season and all....
An elegant weapon, for a more civilized age. :-)
Friday, December 7, 2007
A long time ago on a web-domain far, far away....
I used to blog about Star Wars. A lot. Never mind blog about it, I used to eat, sleep, and breath Star Wars. I had a quote for every occasion, and was chastised daily for attempting the Jedi Mind Trick on my wife.
I'm not so much like that now, and I've come to realize, it's not a HUGE deal if some people like Star Trek better than Star Wars, the galaxy DOESN'T implode if I go a month without watching the original trilogy, and it doesn't ALWAYS have to be all about Star Wars....
:-)
....because let's face it, sometimes it's all about Nintendo.
I'm not so much like that now, and I've come to realize, it's not a HUGE deal if some people like Star Trek better than Star Wars, the galaxy DOESN'T implode if I go a month without watching the original trilogy, and it doesn't ALWAYS have to be all about Star Wars....
:-)
....because let's face it, sometimes it's all about Nintendo.
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