My wife and I both have had our moments in the past where it seemed like AA was an obvious direction for us to go in.
There was a time, not too long ago (February), where a mickey of vodka only had a chance of lasting a couple millifortnights (about forty-five minutes) in our household. Of course, we only purchased forty-ouncers and 26ers in those days to save on trips to the liquor store. Somebody looking at our blue-box at the end of the week would think we were operating an after-hours bar. It was all about getting as wrecked as possible, as quickly as possible, almost always.
In addition to all this, I had the brilliant plan to quit smoking cigarettes by smoking an insane amount of pot in lieu of tobacco. Joint for cigarette, I'd say I was inhaling about the same amount of carcinogens, only getting much more fucked up and interacting with some more-than-sketchy people in the process. It's a wonder I was able to blurt out a wedding proposal to my wife, now that I really think about it.
But I did. She said yes. And now 10 months later, we're going to be parents of a healthy baby girl.
The love of my life quit drinking entirely once she found out she was pregnant, and I cut down drastically, followed by quiting altogether, drinking stupid again for a short while, and finally settling in to what I can only define as being a moderate drinker.
My wife sent me this article this morning, which helps me believe I'm not just delusional in thinking this is possible. Hey, if it's on the intertube, so it MUST be true.
My motivation for my current drink habit; my boozing role-model, as it were, is actually my father. You won't oft hear me talk about him, as he's been pretty useless this last 15 years of my life. When it came to moderate drinking though, I must say the man knew what he was doing.
He could make a bottle of brandy last for months, only having a snifter or two a couple days out of the week. I seem to have adopted this strange (to me) technique of drinking without even trying to. I've had the same bottle of gin in my freezer for about 6 weeks now, taking it out once or twice a week an hour before having a gibson - and then stopping at one or two gibsons.
It's all about the flavour of the drink now, with perhaps an afterthought to the warming effect of the alcohol. It's certainly not about getting wasted anymore. For example, the other night I was really in the mood for a rum and Coke, garnished with lime - a Cuba Libre, so to speak. Having only gin in the house, I wound up having a glass of water with my fried balogna sandwich instead.
Anyway, that's all I had to say on this issue. I'm hanging on to the few precious brain cells I have remaining to be the most effective parent possible. No more drunken stupors for me. Also, I don't mean for this to be an anti-AA post. I honestly think that for some people, that's the only thing that can work. I'm happy though, that I'm not one of those people. I don't need booze, but I do enjoy it.
From time to time.
As for the smoking of pot? Done and done. Sage-like advice, again from my dad and with my whole-hearted agreement... "that stuff is bad news."
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2 comments:
That's pretty cool, Mark. This impending parenthood bizness has really changed your outlook, eh? As somebody at the end of the active parenting years (not that it's ever really over), I have to say that I envy you. There is nothing as satisfying as being the mama…or the daddy, I assume. It completely rocks.
I'm a rare writer who barely drinks. From an early age, I realized that alcohol didn't really agree with me: it just doesn't go down well.
So I'll have the occasional drink when I'm out and about, and I've developed a real preference for Bailey's, but that's about as far as it goes.
I admire your and your wife's ability to change. It takes guts to recognize the need and then act on it. You both sound as if you'll make wonderful parents, because you've already figured out quite nicely how to prioritize. Thanks for the inspiration, and congratulations!
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